Monday, December 20, 2010

THE PLAGUE... in my house.
 I can not think of a room that I haven't had to clean up either feces or vomit in today.
It was so bad I didn't even bother with actually changing diapers. I just took their clothes off, threw them away (the clothes, not the children...but I briefly considered the other way around), and just put them straight into the bath to hose them off.
I'm one episode away from fashioning some sort of tool belt to wear...with little loops to hang my Lysol and clorox wipes.

It started with the husband, and then spread to the girls.
(I'm not going to lie. At this point I'm praying that I get it so someone can take care of meeeee...cue self pity)

Wes finally came home tonight and I looked at him all crazy-eyed and mumbled something incoherent, handed him the nearest half-naked baby, grabbed the car keys and ran out the door. After such a day I was headed to my safe castle of calm, the soother of my soul, the pancake to my butter.

stars, hearts, harps, love

Those rhymes-with-smastards gave me a diet coke with two, sad little pieces of ice floating in it 
and a big mac instead of chicken strips. 

Needless to say I snorgled those fries like it was my job.
It looked a little something like this:

When I got home, still fuming about my failure of a mcdonalds trip, 
Wes is all curled up in a little pathetic ball of disease, whimpering something about why the sheets aren't on the bed yet and where's the humidifier and blah blah whine blah whine...I don't know what the rest was because I was too busy wondering if If rubbing his eyes with my clorox wipes would actually blind him or just sting a whole lot?

(don't go getting all horrified and thinking I'm a bad wife. I wouldn't rub both eyes. I need him to see out of at least one so he can drive me to the mental health center when I completely crack from lack of diet coke.)

He is a fantastic husband, and a better dad than I could ever have hoped for the girls, but he drives me crazy when he's sick. 

Off to bed...fingers crossed that all residents of this house retain control of their bodily fluids tonight.


  1. oh no bri! hope the girls and wes start feeling better soon. :)

  2. I know the drill, you have never felt as bad as he feels right now. That has to be my favorite sick husband line! When we get hit with the Plague, it is like I have 5 kids instead of 4. Mom to mom here, don't wish to be sick, because nobody will really take care of you!! I find I call my mommmy and cry to her to come care for me. Never works though! I do have the husband that sprays me with Lysol, that is his way of showing me love while sick!
    I too have that love for McDonalds fries! I see a girls night out in our future?!? You will survive!

  3. steve is a total rhymes with smastard. he gave stomach bug to me last week (i say gave like it was a present) and then proceeded to make fun of the way i throw up. quietly and lady like. his involves groaning and whimpering and, well you get the picture.

    after stomach bug was over, i got a big mac and fries! we have the same guilty pleasure! or just pleasure... no guilt!

  4. Is this what I have to look forward to? I am now reconsidering the 3 children idea.


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