Sunday, December 26, 2010

No Girls Allowed...

What does this sign mean to you:

Apparently to me it's merely a suggestion.

I was at Target today and I just strolled on into the men's room.
At Target
Where I have been at least 1.7 million times. 
And love so much I would marry it if I were not already in a monogamous relationship. 
A place where I have visited the women's room at least half of those 1.7 million times.

But today I just rolled on into the men's room like no body's business, and may or may not have seen people doing their business. 

Not just people.
Because I was in their room. 

But don't feel to bad for me embarrassed to know me.
Because after I burned my eyes out with hot pokers and found my way to the women's room,
A old man walked in and started washing his hands for at least 10 seconds before he realized he too had made a small miscalculation. 

I blame Target. They placed the bathrooms right in front of the dollar section.
 People just wander around there with their eyes glazed over like a herd of thrifty lemmings, stuffing things into their carts that no one really needs...
 like plastic kitchen sponge holders shaped like turtles and polka-dot toe socks and little bottles of scented lotion that is really meant for 12 year old girls but hello it has *Spaaaarkles* in it and who cares because it's a DOLLAR.

Look at her. Look at the crazy-eyed glee on her face as she rolls her Target treasure out to her car.
That is exactly what I look like. Only with dirty jeans on. And slippers instead of heels. And definitely hair that's not as clean. 

Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a sparkly New year!!  


  1. i cruised into the men's locker room at the gym once... saw all kinds of business!

  2. oh man. that sucks. but, to make situations like this a little more pleasant, why can't the urinals be in stalls. i mean really?

  3. i know bridget...ew. just the name "urinal" makes me throw up in my mouth a little.


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