Being Two...

Here is a fabulous thing about having a two-year old.

You will not be given the chance to think too highly of yourself. 

(see also: lack of privacy & time to wash your hair)

You can try...

They will win.

Exhibit A:

I'm riding in the car with Charlotte and I'm trying to keep up a rolling banter of child-friendly conversation....hoping to distract her from the fact that we doing her two most-hated activities:

1. Riding in the car

2. Sitting next to her three month old sister who is *screaming* to show her similar hatred of car riding

(I have attached the above *sparkly, pretty* stars as a substitute for typing
 "OHMYWORD-MY-EARS-ARE-BLEEDING-STOPSCREAMINGGGG!!"
I felt it made me appear more sane.

So back to the riding...and the screaming...

I'm feeling all  "I'm a good mom, look at me engaging my child in exciting conversation! She is absorbing, and learning, and we are bonding!

"Look, Charlotte!"
"We're going over the Big Bridge Now!"
"Can you see all the little boat-sies down there??!"

(I say the boatsies part with so much excitement and enthusiasm that rainbows and glitter are basically shooting out of my hair and eyes, in an attempt to get her equally excited)

She briefly stops throwing down her goldfish crackers one-by-one onto the floor of the car...down to the family of squirrels that could very possibly be living in my car & I wouldn't even know because it's THAT filthy.

"They aren't boatsies. They're boats"   she says with disdain.
(she is obviously far too sophisticated now for my made up words)
Pause...cranes her neck to look out the window...
Gives me a wounded look and shouts,
"......AND I CAN'T EVEN seeee themmmmm...waaahhhhhhh!!!!!"
___________________

Rainbows and Glitter:  wasted
Boats seen:  Zero
Ears with total deafness: Two