Today my mind is just all jangly and although I could probably ramble on and do a whole post about each of these different things, I just can't make my brain focus enough to write more than a few cohesive sentences on any one topic.
If I just look at today, there really isn't that much going on...get up, work, home, clean, kids, bedtime.
But I struggle with breaking everything down into the gritty, small pieces and getting overwhelmed with that, AND then looking way ahead at bigger picture things and getting overwhelmed by them too.
Big or Small...I'm overwhelmed by it all.
I like to write beautiful rhyming poems like that in my spare time too.
No. no, I don't.
So today I will tell you just one of the many things knocking around in the back of my mind, and will perhaps come back later with the rest of the list.
I was nearly eaten alive by zoo-escaping spiders yesterday.
If you are a close friend or my husband, you have already heard me tell this story multiple times and at a very high decibel level, with lots of hand gestures.
Basically it involves me trying to juggle both girls out to the car, in the POURING rain, and discovering THREE spiders the size of my baby's head, (conveniently snack-sized for them) having a convention of some sort on my car.
I am not kidding. I have never seen spiders that look like that outside of a pet store or a horror movie. I almost reached out and GRABBED THEM OFF MY CAR with my BARE FREAKING HAND because they were so huge and tarantula looking that I thought they were some sort of fake joke by someone.
I tried to google image "giant hairy south carolina spiders" but even looking at my computer screen sideways with half slitted eyes made me fling myself backwards and go into seizure like shuddering, so I didn't have my wits about me enough to try to identify what these creatures were.
Long story short....monsoon of rain, me screaming, charlotte screaming because I'm screaming, desperately looking for something to knock them off of my car with, bad words, baby silently staring at me like "why was I given to this lunatic" while fat raindrops roll down her face, shoving of kids into car seats, and that creepy crawly feeling of wanting to tear of all your clothes and run around in circles naked to make sure nothing is clinging to you or hiding in your hair.
With one hundred percent certainty if one had gotten on me?
Clothes = Off. Commence = naked running & flailing
Husband = bailing wife out of jail for public nudity
Husband = bailing wife out of jail for public nudity
The only thing keeping me from insisting that we put a for sale sign in front of our house immediately, is that their bodies are too fat and hairy to squeeze under doors or cracks to get into my house.
oh.my.gosh.seizure.shuddering.must.take.shower.right.now.
Pure trauma. I too would have died. WHY are there spiders that large in this world? More importantly, why are there spiders AT ALL!????
ReplyDeleteYikes. I don't mind your typical house spider but large one's (a la central/south america) are not my friends.
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny! I am dying laughing. I can't even imagine......although I have a GREAT story I should tell you about how I found a possum in our garage this past December. Yep, i thought it was my faux fur vest that was sitting in the laundry basket in the garage - but NOPE, it was a hibernating POSSUM!!!!!! OMG. The screaming that ensued........
ReplyDelete