Another first born tale...

If you know me on facebook this will be yesterday's news, but I had to write it here too.
Obviously I need to remember it so I can tell her future boyfriends about it.

Every week has a different letter at Charlotte's preschool. This was the letter "P's" turn.

Every kid was supposed to draw something that started with "P" to put in the "P-Pouch".

I saw pictures hanging up of all kinds of  "P" words...  Ponies, Peanuts, Princesses. 

Charlotte astutely decided that "P" was obviously for Private Parts.

And drew a picture of, quote, 

                      " Just some Bottoms & Nipples "       Obviously.

Time Out with Charlotte {this is bound to be a repeating series}

Time Out #234

Me: Charlotte, we do not hit our sister with toys.
2 minutes later....
Me again: Charlotte, we also do not hurt other people with our hands.
2 minutes later...
Still me: Charlotte Jane, if you touch your sister one more time you are going to time out!
30 seconds later...
Me: That is it! Time out! We do not hurt others with our feet, hands, or objects, do you understand those rules?

Charlotte:  FINE! THEN I WILL HURT.  YOUR.  FEELINGS!!!

Carrying Charlotte upstairs to put her to bed tonight...

"Mommy...

...You're my best girl"  

 

 you're mine, charlotte jane xoxo

Oh the pressure...of a name...

Is it completely ridiculous that sometimes I'll sit down to blog and then decide not to because I can't think up a title?

 (but 100 points shall be given to you if you know what movie that title is from) 

Here's a little of this and a dash of that...

Things have been clunking right along for us. I'm really thankful that Wes' treatment for TN seems to have helped. He still is having pain in one area, but we're hoping the nerve will continue to heal over the next few weeks and bring even more relief.

This wiley, wig-wearing little minx managed to pulled a super heavy dresser over onto herself on Saturday night, and only by the grace of God did she escape with just a bruised and sore leg. 

  

We took her to get x-rays just in case, because I didn't see how her leg could be in once piece. That dresser is insanely heavy and I never thought it could tip over. Huge parenting fail, and we're in the process of bolting everything to the walls now. Everything. If you come over to visit, don't stand in one place for too long. 

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Juliette went 5 days without waking up at night. I really thought we had made it. Almost 11 months old, she would finally sleep through the night...

 She woke up 3 times last night just to make up for lost time. 

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I'm working on some really fun and challenging design projects, both at my own house and someone else's...

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I'm also doing the dessert table for the wedding of a super sweet couple from church. Here's my plan...and I'll show you pics of it all done on the big day...

Trying not to take such long breaks from writing!  Be back soon... xoxo

Of birthdays and hair....

So I'm already feeling like this might be a longish sort of post, so I'm putting the best part first...a nifty little hair trick I stumbled upon...you need to try this one out...foolproof. Seriously. This fool tried it.

So this is by far the easiest way to get beachy-waves in your hair...no curling iron needed.
 All you need is a stretchy headband. I found it here on Meredith's blog first, and I just had to share.

 The girl's hair in the video is already kind of wavy and thick, and mine is super thin and long and it still worked and I loved it. (this video is kind of long, but the gist of it is...you put a stretchy headband on around your forehead, hippy style. Then you just wrap small strips of hair around and under it.)


My version, (on the right) from a friend's birthday party....

You may think I'm playing fast and loose with the term "beachy waves" here, but the fact that my hair was anything other than stick straight for more than 2 minutes without having to spray the frickity-frack out of it with hairspray is a miracle.
A miracle I tell you.
So rest assured it will probably turn out even better on your own pretty head.

*Tips: for even curlier waves, take a shower, wait till hair is 80-90% dry, wrap it and then sleep on it.
I rushed the process because I have the patience of a flea, and only let it dry for a couple of hours. And it was still a nice improvement from my usual method of throwing it up in a ponytail and picking out the stray cheerios. {I have a baby. That will be my excuse until she's 14}
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We also celebrated Charlotte's 3rd Birthday...

with polka-dot cupcakes...

and polka-dot dresses

and purple pompom balls

and shooting the breeze with best friends

{you like my 1974 school cafeteria chairs? yes you do.}

My sweet Charlotte Jane. You're the one who made me a mom. 

And your sweet baby smell is fading.

Replaced with shocking displays of foot-stomping sass

I want you to grow up and stay small all at the same time and it hurts my heart a little. 

And not to be outdone,

Stroodle Noodle turned 8 months old, got her first tooth and started to crawl...

we're all a little tired

xoxo

Bri

No words...

Today the girls and I went to McDonalds. (or, Mickey & Donald's as we say around here, because Charlotte loves her some Disney Channel). It had been a day already. Charlotte was in rare form, I was frustrated over a last minute change in scheduling which left me without the alone time I thought I was getting, and I needed a cold diet coke like a waffle needs butter...like a biscuit needs gravy...like a....I just needed it people!

The cup holders in the front console were both filled with cups already (evidence of not enough time for grocery shopping and too many drive-through trips)

So I put my frosty diet coke between my legs, juggled Charlotte's apple juice, and drove up to the trashcan they have outside.

Juliette was having a grand time chewing on Charlotte's sandal, just out of her grasp, and it was melt. down. city. in the backseat.

I looked outside, made sure I was within throwing distance of the trashcan, turned around to the backseat and shouted gave gentle words of wisdom, like "maybe if you didn't fling off your sandals in a wild fit of rage, it wouldn't have landed in your sister's carseat and thus in her mouth!!!"

Then I hauled off and really threw the old cups out the window.

The Closed...Window...That I forgot to open

I sat there in shock with my mouth open as three day old coffee and watered down dr pepper dripped from my hair and puddled in my bra while Charlotte, thinking it was her precious drink that had met it's demise, shrieked in bitter anguish

MYYYY  JUUUUUUICCCCCE!!!!! 


If I can get the moldy coffee creamer residue out of my contacts, I'll see you Wednesday.

this one...

...is about to do me in today.

Being two has been hard.

on me. 

She seems to be handling it just fine. 

Since everything and everyone on the planet is obviously here solely for her enjoyment,

she's just skipping right along having a grand old time. 

But oooooh how I adore you, Charlotte Jane.

It was time...

I finally decided the time had come to get a real big girl hairbrush.

I lost mine 3 weeks ago.

So I've been using this one. For reals.

I borrowed it from a friend of Charlotte's.

She was kind of snooty when I gave it back with a few hairs still stuck in it.

Geez, B. Skinny people can be so cranky.

broken...

I went out last night with a group of girl friends for dinner and dancing.

My two year old was keeping me company in the bathroom while I showered and got ready.

She suddenly got a really distraught look on her face and started giving me reassuring leg pats.

"ooohhh mommy...it's ok"

"Your panties are broken, but we'll help you fix them"

"don't worry"

a little of this, a little of that...

People...my brain. it hurts.

The husband has been working some long days and nights, and the bedtime routine has been all on me. It doesn't sound like it should be that tricky to get two kids in bed, but my 5 month old, Juliette, always seems to fall asleep right before Charlotte, my 2-going-on-20 year old is ready to go to bed.

So the baby is still in a just fell asleep and can startle awake easily stage, while I'm dragging the other one up the stairs, fingers clawing at the walls, hollering that she's not tired, neeeds a drink, is too cold, too hot, and will also likely starve to death if she doesn't immediately have a snack.

If you didn't know, 2 year olds are super great at using their inside voices.

So now the baby is awake again.

Sometimes the whole process can cycle through several times before I'm finally the last man standing.

 I'm not a feminist. I like to have strong, virile, handsome men do absolutely everything for me regardless of whether I can do it myself or not, so I don't feel the need to substitute "woman" for "man" in every possible phrase or saying. That kind of business really annoys me. side note. just sayin'

I digress.

Add in a still waking up at night baby, a toddler who has been testing both my patience and my resistance to stiff drinks, and not enough alone time.

The whole point is that by the time I get around to writing a new post, my brain is just a frazzley, jangly mess. That's why I've had an abundance of photo-heavy posts and style boards lately.

Feel lucky that you're just getting the frazzley written version . In person it's even more of a verbally-stunted mess. The other day I was talking to a friend and kept having to ask, "did I already say that out loud, or did I just say it in my head?" with every other sentence.

But Wes is finally able to take it easy this week, I have my weekly small group with some super sweet girls from church tonight, and then friday is dinner with some gal pals {that was for you Liz}

And, AND, I just realized that I switched my work schedule to be off thursday because Wes has an all day out of town conference, but we already paid for the girls' half day daycare/preschool because I usually work all day on thursdays. Are you following me here??

It means I have four hours of unaccompanied time to fill.  What will I do with myself!!

I'm considering getting myself a giant diet coke and then getting some new books from the library.

But I don't want you to judge me for being such a wild, loose woman.

My day in numbers...

3....times that Charlotte calmly called down the stairs 

to tell me that there was a mouse in her room.

5...minutes before I fully realized what she was saying, 

and that there might be some chance she was actually serious.

1...number of heart attacks my out of shape body almost had from

sprinting up the stairs, carrying the baby, to save my child from a room full of rabies-carrying rodents

also 1...number of imaginary mice that were not in Charlotte's room, because "don't worry mommy"

she had used a mousekatool to catch them.

{if you don't have a toddler & have no reason to watch 

mickey mouse clubhouse, this will mean nothing to you}

Suffice to say, mice-no.

vivid imagination-yes

7...dirty diapers changed.

{are my kids guzzling down prunes when I'm not looking?!}

5, 6, 7,  8 -tantrums {and counting}

3 -lunch options given

3 -lunch options met with a , "NO, I don't WANT it!!"

12 -times asked for candy for lunch
2 -longing glances at my tylenol pm bottle

9 - Charlotte shoe changes
7 -Charlotte wardrobe changes

5 -bottles given

6 -ouchies kissed

10,000 -more hairs fallen out of my nearly-bald head from stress

0 -showers taken by me

3 -time outs

24 -clock checks to see if its nap time yet

3 -times the baby napped...for 5 minutes each
{what to do with all this glorious free time...?}




time: 9:23 am


$527 - cost of a one way ticket to here

Las Ventanas Al Paraiso resort, cabo san lucas, mexico

anyone care to join me?

Spring Fever...

It is so glorious outside today. 

For those of you who don't live in God's chosen city Charleston, sorry to rub it in. 

It's at least 74 degrees right now. 

So glorious in fact that I attempted to take both girls for a walk. 

At the same time. 

Alone. 

I know some of you are thinking to yourselves, "You only have two kids lady...pull yourself together...how hard can it be". And that is how I will know you have never met Charlotte, my 2 year old. 

Because taking a walk with one Charlotte is like trying to take a walk with 17 gerbils...stressful, fast-paced, and someone's probably coming back with bite marks.

But the girls could use fresh air and I didn't go to all the trouble of putting my bra on for nothing, besides good parents do things like let their offspring out of the house on occasion.

 4 tantrums, 7 thrown rocks, 1 scraped knee, several pitying looks from neighbors, and 3 hissed threats of eternal time-out later...we turned around, walked six feet, and were back at our house.

Six feet totally counts. Score one for good parenting. 

Being Two...

Here is a fabulous thing about having a two-year old.

You will not be given the chance to think too highly of yourself. 

(see also: lack of privacy & time to wash your hair)

You can try...

They will win.

Exhibit A:

I'm riding in the car with Charlotte and I'm trying to keep up a rolling banter of child-friendly conversation....hoping to distract her from the fact that we doing her two most-hated activities:

1. Riding in the car

2. Sitting next to her three month old sister who is *screaming* to show her similar hatred of car riding

(I have attached the above *sparkly, pretty* stars as a substitute for typing
 "OHMYWORD-MY-EARS-ARE-BLEEDING-STOPSCREAMINGGGG!!"
I felt it made me appear more sane.

So back to the riding...and the screaming...

I'm feeling all  "I'm a good mom, look at me engaging my child in exciting conversation! She is absorbing, and learning, and we are bonding!

"Look, Charlotte!"
"We're going over the Big Bridge Now!"
"Can you see all the little boat-sies down there??!"

(I say the boatsies part with so much excitement and enthusiasm that rainbows and glitter are basically shooting out of my hair and eyes, in an attempt to get her equally excited)

She briefly stops throwing down her goldfish crackers one-by-one onto the floor of the car...down to the family of squirrels that could very possibly be living in my car & I wouldn't even know because it's THAT filthy.

"They aren't boatsies. They're boats"   she says with disdain.
(she is obviously far too sophisticated now for my made up words)
Pause...cranes her neck to look out the window...
Gives me a wounded look and shouts,
"......AND I CAN'T EVEN seeee themmmmm...waaahhhhhhh!!!!!"
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Rainbows and Glitter:  wasted
Boats seen:  Zero
Ears with total deafness: Two