Friday, December 31, 2010

A New Year...

Sorry for the little break there folks...We've had The Sickness (see here) and the visiting of family and a little more of The Sickness and a little 5 year anniversary for the hubs and I ...
(I love you minksy!)


...and all the while I just want to have one nostril functioning at some sort of  normal capacity.

You know how when you have a cold and you can't breathe out of your nose and it really freaks you out because you think, what if someone came up and put their hand over my mouth and then I wouldn't be able to breathe at all and I would DIE.

You know?????


Ok, well anyway. I've been thinking about how quickly this year has flown's probably felt that way for you too. People have told me that when you have little kids the days go by slow but the years go by fast...its so true.
Charlotte is basically living in timeout right now so sometimes I wish they would go juuust a little faster, but I know this season of life is going to just be gone in a blink.

So in honor of a new year...a fresh start...a clean slate.
Here are the things I want to reach for in 2011.

To play more. explore more. learn more.

 read more.

pray more

Eat more foods that require these...

...and less of these.

To do this more. A lot more. (And anything is more than the current none.)

Make more time for this with my husband.

Write more. Even if I'm the only one reading it.

Happy New Year Dear Friends!


Sunday, December 26, 2010

No Girls Allowed...

What does this sign mean to you:

Apparently to me it's merely a suggestion.

I was at Target today and I just strolled on into the men's room.
At Target
Where I have been at least 1.7 million times. 
And love so much I would marry it if I were not already in a monogamous relationship. 
A place where I have visited the women's room at least half of those 1.7 million times.

But today I just rolled on into the men's room like no body's business, and may or may not have seen people doing their business. 

Not just people.
Because I was in their room. 

But don't feel to bad for me embarrassed to know me.
Because after I burned my eyes out with hot pokers and found my way to the women's room,
A old man walked in and started washing his hands for at least 10 seconds before he realized he too had made a small miscalculation. 

I blame Target. They placed the bathrooms right in front of the dollar section.
 People just wander around there with their eyes glazed over like a herd of thrifty lemmings, stuffing things into their carts that no one really needs...
 like plastic kitchen sponge holders shaped like turtles and polka-dot toe socks and little bottles of scented lotion that is really meant for 12 year old girls but hello it has *Spaaaarkles* in it and who cares because it's a DOLLAR.

Look at her. Look at the crazy-eyed glee on her face as she rolls her Target treasure out to her car.
That is exactly what I look like. Only with dirty jeans on. And slippers instead of heels. And definitely hair that's not as clean. 

Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a sparkly New year!!  

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Life Lessons...

 If your child tells you they have a dirty diaper, and you say, "no you don't". 
And then they tell you again a few minutes later, and you say "no, mommy just changed you, you're fine."
And then four milliseconds later they again insist on being changed...

Try to remember that you have sinuses clogged up tighter than...well, just really clogged up...and you can't smell anything, before you tell them "fine, go ahead and take it off and put a new pull-up on" because you think they just want to change pull-ups for the millionth time that day and don't really need it.

Just because you can't smell something, doesn't mean it isn't there...if you get my drift.

The scene I came upon in the bathroom a few minutes later would cause the monkey cage cleaners at a zoo to recoil in horror. 

Not just the cleaners. The monkeys themselves might be shocked too.

Charlotte had happily pulled her (aptly named) pull-up off, dropping what was in it into the bathtub, covered the whole thing up with a mile of toilet paper and called it a day. 

Anyway...mess cleaned up and I must dash...

Wes just got home and I screeched at him:
OF BEVERLY HILLS IS COMING ON!!!" as my only greeting
and then pounced on the remote like a rabid ferret. 
(or at least how I imagine a ferret would pounce. They seem like the pouncey type)

In response, he grabbed the last of the Diet Coke and drank it all in front of me.

Well played,sir....Well played.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Office Wish List...

So soooomeday when I have an office that doesn't also function as a cage for children playroom...I would like it to look like THIS:

Dreamy, No?

Some of the items are admittedly pretty pricey, but places like TJMaxx & HomeGoods are great for finding items that look just like their pricier counterparts for a fraction of the cost.


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Tuesday Color Blend

Loving the lady-like combination of grey & teal lately...

Click below to find the who, what, where...
any faves??
  1. Jacket: 
  2. flats:
  3. dress:
  4. hat: 
  5. clutch:
  6. belted sweater:
  7. grey jeans:
  8. gloves:

Monday, December 20, 2010

THE PLAGUE... in my house.
 I can not think of a room that I haven't had to clean up either feces or vomit in today.
It was so bad I didn't even bother with actually changing diapers. I just took their clothes off, threw them away (the clothes, not the children...but I briefly considered the other way around), and just put them straight into the bath to hose them off.
I'm one episode away from fashioning some sort of tool belt to wear...with little loops to hang my Lysol and clorox wipes.

It started with the husband, and then spread to the girls.
(I'm not going to lie. At this point I'm praying that I get it so someone can take care of meeeee...cue self pity)

Wes finally came home tonight and I looked at him all crazy-eyed and mumbled something incoherent, handed him the nearest half-naked baby, grabbed the car keys and ran out the door. After such a day I was headed to my safe castle of calm, the soother of my soul, the pancake to my butter.

stars, hearts, harps, love

Those rhymes-with-smastards gave me a diet coke with two, sad little pieces of ice floating in it 
and a big mac instead of chicken strips. 

Needless to say I snorgled those fries like it was my job.
It looked a little something like this:

When I got home, still fuming about my failure of a mcdonalds trip, 
Wes is all curled up in a little pathetic ball of disease, whimpering something about why the sheets aren't on the bed yet and where's the humidifier and blah blah whine blah whine...I don't know what the rest was because I was too busy wondering if If rubbing his eyes with my clorox wipes would actually blind him or just sting a whole lot?

(don't go getting all horrified and thinking I'm a bad wife. I wouldn't rub both eyes. I need him to see out of at least one so he can drive me to the mental health center when I completely crack from lack of diet coke.)

He is a fantastic husband, and a better dad than I could ever have hoped for the girls, but he drives me crazy when he's sick. 

Off to bed...fingers crossed that all residents of this house retain control of their bodily fluids tonight.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Nifty Gifty's Part One

Your life is probably not complete without these products.
Scratch the probably. The following items would put us well on our way to world peace if everyone were to have them. These are real items that are actually selling in vast numbers. 

For all of you that wake in the night, twisted in the sheets from the type of sheer panic that only crushed fruit can bring...your salvation is here. I bring you:
The Banana Guard

This handy snack device manages to be both horrifyingly phallic and marketed towards small children all at the same time! The perfect stocking stuffer! Pun completely intended because I am filled with class and sophistication.

The Gin and Titonic

This nifty gift lets you create "Titanic" shaped ice cubes, along with matching "Icebergs" so you can recreate a terrible american tragedy that killed hundreds of people, right there in your own cocktail glass!! 

The Portable-Drive-N-Grill
George Forman created an empire, but he failed to see the new horizon: sizzle your beef right there on the highway! 

This compact, space-saving grill conveniently plugs into your car's AC adapter, letting you cook and grill all at 55 miles per hour. The fun! The whimsy! The accidental death!

The motorized Moo-Mixer
For the chocolate milk fan in your life who already has everything...
This effortless cup takes all that awful, strenuous stirring out of the process.
Just pour in your milk, add the chocolate, and let the Moo-Mixer whisk away the last shred of your will to move, exercise, or use both hands!

Run, Run I tell you, To your closest mall!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Being Two...

Here is a fabulous thing about having a two-year old.

You will not be given the chance to think too highly of yourself. 
(see also: lack of privacy & time to wash your hair)

You can try...

They will win.

Exhibit A:

I'm riding in the car with Charlotte and I'm trying to keep up a rolling banter of child-friendly conversation....hoping to distract her from the fact that we doing her two most-hated activities:
1. Riding in the car
2. Sitting next to her three month old sister who is *screaming* to show her similar hatred of car riding

(I have attached the above *sparkly, pretty* stars as a substitute for typing
I felt it made me appear more sane.

So back to the riding...and the screaming...

I'm feeling all  "I'm a good mom, look at me engaging my child in exciting conversation! She is absorbing, and learning, and we are bonding!

"Look, Charlotte!"
"We're going over the Big Bridge Now!"
"Can you see all the little boat-sies down there??!"

(I say the boatsies part with so much excitement and enthusiasm that rainbows and glitter are basically shooting out of my hair and eyes, in an attempt to get her equally excited)

She briefly stops throwing down her goldfish crackers one-by-one onto the floor of the car...down to the family of squirrels that could very possibly be living in my car & I wouldn't even know because it's THAT filthy.

"They aren't boatsies. They're boats"   she says with disdain.
(she is obviously far too sophisticated now for my made up words)
Pause...cranes her neck to look out the window...
Gives me a wounded look and shouts,
"......AND I CAN'T EVEN seeee themmmmm...waaahhhhhhh!!!!!"

Rainbows and Glitter:  wasted
Boats seen:  Zero
Ears with total deafness: Two

Friday, December 10, 2010

Friday Faves...

Things that have my sweet lovin' today...

These too-cute slippers to keep little toes warm this winter

This fun, easy-peasy dress from Forever21...only $18.90.. Did you know we're getting a Forever21 downtown? did you KNOW? My love of their thrifty finds and fun jewelry knows no bounds...

These dainty leaf

The Stair Step Basket from Ballard Designs.
Because what's better than taking all your random crap that's all over the floor, and putting all your random crap in a lovely basket. Bam. My kind of cleaning.

This Ikat Medallion fabric, also from Ballard. I'd love it made into long, breezy curtains... or a tufted headboard...perhaps throw pillows...maybe just to drape around myself when people come over in the hopes that they'll be dazzled by my fine choices in linens and not see that I've been wearing the same sweatpants for three know, the normal things people use fabric for...

Delicious. Swoon. Lust.

(Alexandra Interiors)

(Thornton Designs)

(Thornton Designs)

Thursday, December 09, 2010

So much to saaaay!

So I've realized that 146 characters or less on facebook is just not enough for my large mouth brain and all the things it contains. Like thoughts on world peace and important legislative affairs.

And by "world peace" I mean interior design and all things pretty.
And by "legislative affairs" I mean things that really drive me crazy. Like the way people in Charleston say oyster as if it rhymed with moisture. ohmyworditdoesnot.

So obviously just by these brief examples, you can clearly see it will be full of the kind of important information you will deem necessary to living.

I will leave you with this fun fact of the day:
on October 1973, Swedish sweet maker Roland Ohisson of Falkenberg was buried in a coffin made of nothing but chocolate.
(you changing facts here, people. Stick around.)

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